The other day Sr. Juniper got a message from the structural engineer (Hi, Dad!) that he was concerned that the wrong kind of plywood was used for the framing, could we check on it? As we were driving over to the site, Sr. Juniper is clearly ready to panic. He's making small talk with me, but his mind is somewhere else. Then he laughs, and says, "I'm either panicked or lazy, there's no middle ground." Actually he said, "I'M EITHER PANICKED OR LAZY, THERE'S NO MIDDLE GROUND!!!"
Here are some things he has panicked about:
-Steep hillside review? We have to prove our project to the fire marshal, and then all the neighbors get to have their say???
-The financial system is crashing. No way will any bank lend money to ne'er-do-wells like us!
-It costs HOW MUCH to build a house?
-The neighbors are going to sue us over the boundary line of the lot. Do I know any lawyers?
-Some psycho in the neighborhood has it out for us (aka the flood)!
-The city says I need an OSHA certified excavator, but no OSHA certified excavator would do a project as small as ours. I'm not going to get the permit, aaaaahhh!
-The city never issued the right-of-way permit, so we can't actually access our lot!!!
-Our concrete company is going to hold us hostage over this ridiculous change order!
- Bees!!!
- Oh My God, they're going to have to tear out all the plywood on the framing.
Most of these turned out to be non-issues. Other ones got taken care of or faded away. On the other hand, panic gets things done. Sr. Juniper jumps into action and makes things happen. Do not mess with Sr. Juniper in panic mode, he's not afraid to lose his cool.
P.S. The plywood was fine, it turned out.
P.P.S. And Sr. Juniper is not lazy. If he were more motivated, I wouldn't be able to live with him out of guilt for my slothful ways. He's perfectly laid back.
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